Online Payment info wanted-tricks-failures-etc

[MServitus]

I want to set my shopsite cart up to use an online payment service, so I don't have to handle credit card numbers.
I could use paypal but they have two problems.
1. if the customer fails to complete the transaction, I receive no notification. This keeps me from being able to help a customer work thru a problem, prevents me from learning of a processing failure, and, weeks later, when the customer who thought he had completed the order comes back complaining, I have no information on the situation.;
2. paypal tricks them into signing up for paypal service, whether they want it or not, or even understand it..

Shopsite also offers this type of service with Google, but given their lust for selling information, I don't think I want to trust them.

Which brings us to WorldPay and Netbank
Does anyone have any good or bad experiences with them that they would like to share here? Thanks..

Can they/will they hand back failure messages.
Or an unpaid order??
Do they try to add any kind of "sign up" process or alternate sales pitch to my customers.

I currently have my 800 number on my check out screen. About once a week we get a call from someone having trouble checking out. Usually we take their card number via voice, then route them to a "hold the order" option and then process the charge successfully. I don't want to dump these customer on the mercy of Mega-Corp Inc and their Overseas Call centers.

thanks for your assistance..